Underpants = Crime-fighters

Last night I spoke to Max about a funny exchange I heard on a podcast, in which underpants - tighty whitey's - are referred to as 'crime-fighters'. When I heard this, I began to laugh uncontrollably. The last time I laughed that hard, Max and I were in the Columbus Airport after the first time we visited Chris in Columbus. We were sitting, waiting for our airplanes, and one of us mentioned Xander the Butt-Commander. We started thinking about the idea of a butt-commander and we laughed really hard. As I explain below, I think the idea of calling underpants, 'crime-fighters' is just as funny.

Here's the actual exchange from the Podcast:

Kevin Smith: Do you still have crispy bacon strips in your underwear?
Jason Mews (Jay): No, no, because I don't wear tighty whitey's like when I was an f'ing child
Kevin Smith: What, you're not allowed to wear them as an adult; crime-fighters?
Jason Mews: I can't wear white f'ing crime-fighters
Kevin Smith: It sounds like the only reason you won't wear them is because you'll have'em F'ing stained

The absurdity of calling underpants, crime-fighters is exactly as absurd as the idea of a someone becoming a designated butt commander. The more you think about it the funnier it gets. For example:
1) Like we said last night, every time you pull up your underpants it's like you are going to fight crime
2) Standing there in only crime-fighters with you hands on your hips
3) The absurdity of thinking that, for a really long time now, a major staple of super hero outfits is that they wear colored underpants on top of their uniform -- this is a really funny one to me... And, like 99% of all superheros do this. Don't they realize?
4) Crime-fighters, on Crime Fighters, are purely aesthetic. No functionality. What a weird choice of costume...
5) How anytime a kid wants to dress as a superhero, he puts his underpants on over his sweatpants. You know you did it.
6) Do crime fighters wear two pairs of crime-fighters at once?
7) The idea of putting underpants on over pants in general
8) The idea of one of us - dressing as a kid dressing as a superhero - putting our underpants on over jeans or something - imagine if you did this and went to work. I dare you.

I could think about this all day. This morning, in the shower, I started cracking up laughing at all the funny connections between crime-fighters and underpants. Also, it was hysterical when, last night, on the phone, as we discussed this topic, we started to call underpants crime fighters -- we discussed wearing crime-fighters. And now, there is no going back. They just are crime-fighters. I am wearing black ones right now.

I have to stop. Tell me this is funny to you as well...