Underpants = Crime-fighters

Last night I spoke to Max about a funny exchange I heard on a podcast, in which underpants - tighty whitey's - are referred to as 'crime-fighters'. When I heard this, I began to laugh uncontrollably. The last time I laughed that hard, Max and I were in the Columbus Airport after the first time we visited Chris in Columbus. We were sitting, waiting for our airplanes, and one of us mentioned Xander the Butt-Commander. We started thinking about the idea of a butt-commander and we laughed really hard. As I explain below, I think the idea of calling underpants, 'crime-fighters' is just as funny.

Here's the actual exchange from the Podcast:

Kevin Smith: Do you still have crispy bacon strips in your underwear?
Jason Mews (Jay): No, no, because I don't wear tighty whitey's like when I was an f'ing child
Kevin Smith: What, you're not allowed to wear them as an adult; crime-fighters?
Jason Mews: I can't wear white f'ing crime-fighters
Kevin Smith: It sounds like the only reason you won't wear them is because you'll have'em F'ing stained

The absurdity of calling underpants, crime-fighters is exactly as absurd as the idea of a someone becoming a designated butt commander. The more you think about it the funnier it gets. For example:
1) Like we said last night, every time you pull up your underpants it's like you are going to fight crime
2) Standing there in only crime-fighters with you hands on your hips
3) The absurdity of thinking that, for a really long time now, a major staple of super hero outfits is that they wear colored underpants on top of their uniform -- this is a really funny one to me... And, like 99% of all superheros do this. Don't they realize?
4) Crime-fighters, on Crime Fighters, are purely aesthetic. No functionality. What a weird choice of costume...
5) How anytime a kid wants to dress as a superhero, he puts his underpants on over his sweatpants. You know you did it.
6) Do crime fighters wear two pairs of crime-fighters at once?
7) The idea of putting underpants on over pants in general
8) The idea of one of us - dressing as a kid dressing as a superhero - putting our underpants on over jeans or something - imagine if you did this and went to work. I dare you.

I could think about this all day. This morning, in the shower, I started cracking up laughing at all the funny connections between crime-fighters and underpants. Also, it was hysterical when, last night, on the phone, as we discussed this topic, we started to call underpants crime fighters -- we discussed wearing crime-fighters. And now, there is no going back. They just are crime-fighters. I am wearing black ones right now.

I have to stop. Tell me this is funny to you as well...

The Author Who Avoided Pretty

I'm surprised at the popularity of the Stieg Larsson "The Girl..." novels.  Not because they're not good, well written stories.  In fact, I'm surprised at their popularity because they're extremely well written in the sense that he avoids the use of adverbs and adjectives in presenting the narrative.  Larsson tells you, simply and often straight from the character, what's happening and why and doesn't prettify it with unnecessary descriptive words or phrases.  In doing so, he has given the reader more freedom in imagining the Sweden that shaped Lisbeth Salander's life.  And with that freedom, we, the readers, don't prettify the characters or the setting, leaving us with an experience that seems more real (which is also why I like the Swedish "Dragon Tattoo" movie and its casting so much and am already disappointed with the American remake, without even seeing it or the beautiful actors that will cannibalize Larsson's reality).

I think you have to say that the first book of the trilogy tells the best story, if only because it presents the culimination of the history presented in the following two books, even though the second and third move Salander's story forward in time, as well.  Much of the second and third are an explanation for what happened in the first book, in which you have already learned from Larsson's writing as much as you will from the back-story he tells in the second two.  It makes me wonder how it would have worked if he had told Salander's story chronologically, beginning with the history of the Sapo and Salachenko's arrival - presenting the story chronologically might be the only acceptable reason for a Hollywood remake with James Bond and Kate Mara's sister.  I'll only end up seeing the remake(s) to confirm my disdain.

Anyway - I think we need to figure out some time in our book schedule for Chris to read these Larsson novels.  I look forward to thoughts on my commentary from Josh, at least.

Racialism

Are any of ya'll even remotely interested in LeBron's claim that racialism impacted the coverage of "the Decision?"

I actually think he has a valid point, though it seems odd to even mention it after the fact. Any racialism in the coverage of "the Decision" is the same racialism involved in the way all sports are covered. There's no way he shouldn't have seen or anticipated that middle class white people might not react well to the Decision (and the way he decided it).

Here's the question: Was LeBron just casually and honestly answering a reporter's question, or is this something that he is bothered by and failed to properly predict? I think he was just answering a reporter's question. I think the fact that this comment makes headlines is because, ironically, basketball coverage really is pretty racialist.

On the other hand, if he made his comment because he's bothered by this, he's a little crazy.